Rojak

Mintak maaf lah ya pada sahabat2 yang datang menjengah ke teratak ini untuk melihat sekiranya ada khabar terbaru, tetapi yang ada hanya gambar paru-paruku yang hodoh itu. Barulah ku tahu betapa susahnya nak maintain sebuah blog.

Dua hari lepas I went for a massage kat Taman Tun. Berurut secara tradisional kaedah Bali gitu. Tukang2 urutnya didatangkan khas dari Sulawesi. The last time I went berurut was in May last year in Jogjakarta. And my last urut session before Jogja took place in Bandung sometime in May 2007. I just love Indonesian traditional massage. Decided to have a full body massage pasal rasanya urat2 ini telah pun bersimpul-simpulan akibat duduk kat hospital yang penghawa dinginnya telah diset ke suhu antartika. Hmm... macam manalah orang sakit nak baik dalam keadaan sejuk camtu.

Pergi massage hari tu dengan my colleague, Sis S. She is a cancer patient. She was diagnosed with papillary cancer ( a form of thyroid cancer) I think about 5 or 6 years back. She went for radioiodine therapy (the treatment used for thyroid cancer) & was declared cancer free about 2 years after that. But last year, she received the most devastating news - her cancer came back, and this time it has metatastis to her bones. And the worst part is that, the doctors are clueless on what to do with her as her cancer cells are not responding to radioiodine. They say, chemo is too harsh for her.. so they should just wait.

She is a strong woman I must say. An intelligent person too, but the disease slowly robbed everything from her. When she was first diagnosed, she was already in her first year in PhD program. She abandoned her study to undergo cancer treatment. After she was declared cancer free, she wanted to pick up the pieces that she left earlier & planned to enrol back in PhD program. She was in the midst of preparing her research proposal when she learned that her cancer came back. Besar betul dugaan dia, tapi bukankah Allah hanya menduga kepada mereka yang terpilih dan yang disayangi? She's a Sabahan Muslim & a saudara baru too. And I tell you, she is one of the nicest persons I have met in my entire life. I was so disturbed upon receiving the news that her cancer came back & had difficulties to sleep. Imagine macamanalah agaknya perasaan husband & anak2 dia....

Sis S said that she's like a time bomb. I could not imagine how it feels to be in her shoes. Dying is of course a sure thing. You can't escape death, but the thought of leaving your loved ones surviving without you is just so heart breaking. Sis S has 4 beautiful daughters & a very caring husband. She's the type yang husband hantar & jemput pergi balik kerja. Ada program apa pun mesti husband dia teman dengan sabarnya.

Tengok tu.. start cerita berurut & got carried away with Sis S' story. Hmm... memang otak ni tengah berkecamuk. I guess it was not only my lung yang sakit, otak pun sakit sama. For the past few days I've been struggling with my research. It is just so difficult to get back to where I left almost a month ago. I’ve been advised by my senior colleagues to take a break from my study and concentrate on getting well. I haven’t really fully recovered yet as I still feel breathless whenever I overexert myself. Generally, I feel good. I have got back my energy level. But the problem is I feel that my lung is not coordinating well with my body and energy. I have the energy but I don’t have enough breath to cope with my activities. So I have to go slow.. jalan slow2, naik tangga slow2.. which is so merimaskan coz I’m used to do things quickly. I’ve been thinking.. should I take their advice and defer for this semester to take the pressure off me. I was hospitalized last October 2008 due to hemithyroidectomy, but I didn’t take any cuti. I still haven’t decided yet.. I’ll give myself another week to see how things go.

Back to the massage story… the masseur told me that sometimes they massage couples ie husband and wife. Hmm.. I seriously think that hubby needs a good professional massage just like what I had that day.. tapi rasa cam tak masuk akal betul nak bagi pompuan lain pegang2 suami ku itu.... Oh tidak……. nak bayangkan pun tak sanggup......

ps:

I gave this entry the title "rojak" coz tak tahu nak bagi title apa sebab cerita pun macam rojak.