The First Day.

Monday, 5th January 2009

The day that I waited finally came. It was Shad’s first day in Standard One. We were 5 minutes late. When we arrived (just me and Shad, hubby had to send Rizq to the nursery) , the students were having assembly. I quickly handed him to a nice & very polite prefect & she led him to the assembly area. The moment I let go of his hand, I could feel tears welling up my eyes. Gosh…. I can’t believe it. My tembam baby (he used to be such a BIG baby) is now a standard oner!... How time flies….. I just couldn’t stop my tears.. For those who really know me, I am actually quite an emotional person inside, though not many may realize that. I’m easily touched. I cry when I’m too happy, I cry when I’m too angry. At that time, it was tears of some mixture of joy, gratefulness, emptiness (knowing that he will not be needing me as much as he did before)…. Yeah I know.. I can almost hear you saying that I was being ridiculous..

To avoid embarrassment, before anyone caught me crying (so malufying.. anak tak nangis, mak pulak nangis), I went straight to the back of the school block & dialled Atul’s number. She was in the same boat as mine, having first-borns in school for the first time. She would understand. Atul is the kind of person you want to talk to whenever you need to pour things out from your chest. She always has the patience to listen to you, despite her busy schedule as a mom to 3 bouncing boys. It was such a relief to be able to talk to her. Instead of telling me how silly I was, she told me that I, as a mother, had the right to be emotional. Thanks Atul…. you’re such a precious friend. Felt much better after talking to her.

I decided to stay at the canteen waiting for his recess time, just to check on him. While waiting for the recess time, I indulged myself in human-vampire-werewolf’s kisah cinta bersegi2. I was reading Breaking Dawn, the finale book of the Twilight Series. While at the canteen, got a call from another anxious first-time-anak-darjah-satu mom, Nikkie. It was great to be able to talk to two of my best friends in the same morning.

Recess time - saw him walking down the stairs with his friends from his previous preschool Genius Aulad – Muaz & Izz (not Atul’s Izz.. it’s the other Izz). It was a relief to see him smiling & laughing with his friends. Below are some of the photos that I took on hari yang bersejarah itu….

At 10.30 am, I was ready to leave. Headed to my Waja & started the engine. Alamak engine tak boleh start la. Damnn…. Mesti bateri kong. Baru teringat I forgot to switch off the head light that morning before turning off the engine. Alamak.. matilah….. Called hubby & he came to the rescue. He asked what’s wrong, and I said, “ntah… bateri kong kot”. He was puzzled.. “bateri baru lagi ni…”. I just kept quiet, saved the details to myself.. he..he… After that he called abang Enal & abang Enal brought with him a repairman to charge the battery. So ok dah lepas tu. I went to Mydin & had lunch there at Nasi Kandar Padang Kota & after that tapau 3 pax of nasi briyani JM for dinner. Yeah…. Dah settle dinner, tak payah masak.

Shad’s school finished at 4 pm. I was half-an-hour late to fetch him. Dalam hati, matilah kena bebel dgn Shad. I was worried (ya..ya.. I’m a great worrier), worried if he felt scared, or bored. Takut jugak kalau dia main kat luar sekolah. He was nowhere to be seen. Manalah budak Shad ni. I was about to feel panic & almost instantly, I spotted three boys tgh dok bersila kat corridor. There he was… main silang-pangkah with Muaz & Izz.

Dah penat sekolah satu hari, ibu belanja Shad & kawan2 ice cream. Shad dah macam belacan dgn baju terkeluar dari seluar. Tak kisah lah tu.. asal dia bahagia..

I guess that’s about it – Shad’s first day in schoolhood. Raising kids is just like flying kites. You know that you need to loosen your grip on the string to let the kite soar high. But at the same time, you’re afraid that if you loosen it too much, the kite may go too high.. too far that you’re afraid that you’d lose it forever.

My dearest Shad… fly, dear.. fly as high as you can. Don’t be afraid as ibu will not be going anywhere. Ibu will be right down here, watching you.

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"Adik pun nak sekolah jugak!". he's going to be 4 this year. We thought of sending him to preschool, but he said he only wants to go the same school as abang. Alamak.. camana... adik kecik lagi...