F.I.V.E

Rizq turns 5 today. The moment he woke up, I wished him "happy birthday sayang". He smiled a bit quickly took a glance at the table, and suddenly he turned sour. I asked him, "kenapa ni? Kan birthday Rizq hari ni... kenapa tak happy". He replied "takde cake pun". So I explained la.... nanti kita beli kek la hari Sabtu. Kan ibu dah cakap, kita celebrate hari Sabtu. Lepas tu dia cakap "lain kali kalau takde cake, jangan cakap happy Birthday"..... Hai.... rizq.. Rizq.....

Below is my modified and edited blog entry on the birth of Rizq which I wrote many many years ago in my other blog yang telah di-abandone-kan - The Story of Rizq

29th April 2005, Friday (37th week of pregnancy)

I left home early in the morning to go for my check-up en route to the office. I remember that day I have already made plan to attend Prof Fatimah’s inaugural lecture with my colleague.

Sampai clinic Dr Siti at SMC Shah Alam, macam biasalah dia buat ultrasound. She told me that the baby was still in transverse lie ie baby lying sideways (melintang, not songsang). I was made aware about this position since I was in 32nd week. I was briefed that shoudl the baby stays that way until labour, there was no other way to get him out but through C-sect.

Dr Siti then said “Kita tunggu lagi seminggu, then only we set date bila nak buat Caesarean”.. But she pesan to me berkali, “kalau dah rasa contraction, mesti cepat2 datang hospital. Jgn tunggu sampai water bag pecah sebab bahaya”. She explained that, for baby in transverse lie, it was advisable to get the baby out before water bag pecah to prevent cord prolapse. Actually for the past few days, I have started feeling cramps, but I thought it was Braxton hicks / false contractions. So, I told her lah selalu rasa cramp2 tapi tak sakit sangat. Pastu agaknya Dr Siti rasa tak sedap hati, so she suggested me to do CTG – just to be sure, she said. At first I was reluctant as I was rushing to the office, but since Dr insisted, I ikut ajelah.

So, they strapped me on that CTG machine for about half an hour. Terkejut jugak tengok sebab graf tu naik constantly- meaning that there were regular contractions already and the interval for each contraction was 5-6 minutes. Dr Siti was alarmed. She asked me “you tak rasa sakit ke”.. I said “tak pun..”… She explained, probably pasal baby I melintang so, the pain was disseminated horizontally. So, I tak rasa dia menekan2 ke bawah. Dr Siti kata, we have to do c-sect today at 1.00 pm. At that time, it was already half past 10. I was happy to hear that I was going to meet my baby SOON! Tapi lepas tu I felt a bit panicky coz I was all alone. I called hubby (he was at his office) and broke the news and asked him to come immediately & bring my baju, selipar, berus gigi etc. Then I registered myself. The clerk asked for RM3k for deposit. I only had less than RM100 in my purse. Dah sah2 datang untuk buat check up je. Nasib baik ada ATM machine kat situ… Tengok dalam bank, ada about RM1700. So, I paid with whatever I had lah. The clerk was kinda reluctant to accept that. I said “Saya ni dah nak beranak kejap lagi. You amik dulu duit ni, my husband will come kejap lagi & pay the balance”. Pastu baru dia ok. Banyak cekadak betul… Nilah private hospital.. Apa2 duit dulu dia mintak.. At least bagilah orang beranak in peace dulu….

Lepas tu, baru they all bagi I masuk ward sementara nak tunggu masuk OT pukul 1. I wasn’t prepared to give birth that day. Lepas tu rasa macam saspen gila. I never went through any kind of surgery before. I didn’t know what to expect.

Dr Suraya - the anaesthetist came to see me and explained the procedure to me so I knew what would happen and I decided to have a spinal anaesthetic rather than a general anaesthetic because I wanted to be awake. Dr Suraya was really nice. She knew i was terrified so she assured me that everything was gonna be fine.

Around noon, they moved me down to the theatre. Hubby just arrived at that time. He followed me to the OT but he was not allowed to be in the theatre. So he waited outside. I was sad as I really needed his support at that time. I was damn terrified and was still in disbelief. It was all so sudden from arriving at the hospital to being in the operation theatre.

Dr Suraya sort of “poked” my back to insert the anaesthetic with my back curved over. Ifel uncomfortable. But Dr Suraya & the nurses were really nice and gentle. Lama jugaklah dia try masukkan benda tu. They had to do it several times. Don't know why....

Once they had done that Dr Siti started the operation. It was quite a strange feeling, it didn’t hurt and was less uncomfortable than going to the dentist but I could feel that they were doing something, a rummaging kind of feeling. Rasa macam perut ditekan, ditarik, disiat, but it wasn’t painful at all. I was kinda dizzy but I was fully alert with what was going on. While 'menyembelih' my perut I heard both the doctors gossipping about Norjuma & Dato’ Nazim, pasal Dato’ Nazim tu ex-bf Normala Samsudin. And after that Dr Siti siap cerita yang dia dari kecik memang dah minat O&G. Masa kecik2 dulu dia selalu bidankan kambing yang bapak dia bela… Apa2 lah…..

I closed my eyes as I felt the tugging on my belly, and thought of calming thoughts. I was anxious to meet my son, and thought of seeing his face for the first time.

Then I heard Dr Siti kata "it’s a boy!” Then I asked her, “dah keluar ke?”… She replied, “Belum, kejap je lagi”…. The baby came out around 1.25 pm. But I didn’t hear his crying. They brought the baby to the side of the theatre to do the initial checks & to take his APGAR score. I was a bit panicked. I asked them “Why the baby is not crying?”…. Lepas tu baru dengar budak bertuah tu menangis. I was relieved and was crying as well. After what seemed like an eternity, they brought my baby to me. I touched his cheek and kissed him several times before they brought him to see his father, who was waiting outside.

They took me to the recovery room and stayed in there for about 45 minutes. Then they send me to my room. Hubby brought the baby to me and it was an amazing feeling to hold him in my arms for the first time! My heart felt as though it had grown two times over and I fell in love all over again.